Devon: Intentional Community

Ubuntu, what does this mean? “i am because We are.” This is the first time that I have blogged this year, and for a while I was a bit frustrated with myself because I did not really know what I could say that would do justice to this ideal that we have set for ourselves this year. We have a lot of goals that we have set, but the major commitment that we have made is to be intentional about becoming an intentional Community. If there is one thing that I have learned at Bluffton these last three years, it is that it is often hard to be intentional about being in community with other people. It is easy to be in community with people who have similar interests or are like minded, but is incredibly challenging to force yourself to be open and honest about where you fall short or are struggling.
Why are we as humans so afraid of being truly known? More and more I am realizing that it is the fear of rejection that causes us as humans to shut out the world in such a way that prevents us from being challenged in any significant way. We are afraid that in being vulnerable that we will be taken advantage of and hurt in ways that last for ever. Why are we afraid of this very real truth? Because it has happened before. We all have scars and open sores that will never truly heal because we have made ourselves vulnerable to others, and they have taken us for granted and hurt us in so many ways. We are all guilty of being on both end of the “knife.”
Why is this so important to this idea of Ubuntu? In the past four weeks, I have realized a lot about myself that I have hidden from myself for the past twenty-one years. I need intimacy from all kinds of people who are in different phases of their lives. I am blessed to be engaged to a wonderful woman that challenges me in new ways everyday, yet loves me for who I am, despite all of my weaknesses, scars, failures, fears, and idiosyncrasies. I am blessed by my oldest friends here at Bluffton because they have been right beside me in my walk with the Lord. This path is full of potholes and the shadows of uncertainty, but together we hobble on, knowing that there is a reason that we- the Church struggle forward through doubt and fear. We strive to serve, love, and know a GREAT LORD. I have been blessed by the challenge of encouraging people who are at a different place on this road of faith. They are beginning to recognize the challenges that await them when they realize that the Good News of the Gospel is not an easy thing to accept because it calls us to live radically in a life full of uncertainty, constant questions about a God that is mystery, and providential works of a loving God.
What am I learning and how am I doing? I am a college student paying a large amount of money in order to get an education. How simply can I truly live? I realize that in the beginning we had a lot of idealized concepts that we hoped to work toward, but now I am realizing “fully” (meaning that I have no idea) that this concept of living simply is a process that will take my whole life to work toward understanding. However, I am learning that we are succeeding in some very important ways. Yes, we are composting. Yes, we are trying to conserve water and recycle. Yes, we are trying to live in mutual respect. Yes, we do fail. Yes, we are trying to reach out to other people on campus and in the surrounding community. But most importantly- we are living intentionally IN community. We are learning to know and be known. We are struggling to feel, identify, hurt, cry, laugh, empathize, encourage, challenge, love, respect, each other, knowing that when we do these things (even imperfectly) we not only find satisfaction, joy and peace, but we see and feel GOD in those around us. Often, this is the only thing that I am able to hold onto when things are rough.
To God be the Glory…. Great things God has done!

ubuntu - i am because We are

devon matthews