Jennifer: Questions

When I got "home" today I walked into the lobby to two of my housemates having a deep, honest discussion about what might be deemed "faith struggles". And while yeah, I had homework to do sometimes there is nothing better than just sitting down and listening to my housemate's conversations. That might sound a little wierd but it's true - I love listening! I have all these thoughts running through my head but I'm usually not very eloquent so I just sit and soak it all in.

Today the conversation focused on the church as it is in America today. We feel upset by what the church has become and by the faith that it teaches. We feel frustrated by the Bible and the way that texts are taken out of context. We are unsure about everything that our faith ever meant to us and struggle to find some wreckage of the past that we can hang on to but even then we aren't sure that that is what we want. We don't know if we can still call ourselves Christians. We are afraid of doing the exact same things we argue against. We have so many questions. Is that ok? Although we struggle, I feel encouraged because we struggle together. Even though we don't know what we believe I feel blessed because know we are struggling with something important. I know there has to be a place for this somewhere in the church.

In some ways I'm scared. I'm a sophomore and pretty much everyone else in the house is a senior. They say that when they were sophomores their faith was "so rock solid" but now it's tumbling down around them. I know I'm not at the same place as them, but if I'm close - who will I be when I leave Bluffton? I know I won't be the same person I was when I came. But, I think that's a good thing. And maybe, you have to completely demolish what was there before you can begin to build something new.

Ubuntu is in that process of trying to build something new. I wish everyone could have the experience of living in this community - I really feel like we are each others home :)

There is so much more to say as always but that shall suffice for tonight. I need my sleep - this weekend Jason, Kristen, and I are going to the SOA/WHINSEC protest at Fort Benning, GA. None of us have ever been before so keep us in your thoughts!